Is proper English too much to ask???

So here we go with another rant about morning announcements. Once again the gremlin (who by the way could screw up a wet dream) struck again. This time it's the English language. Once again we're yelling on the announcements, my babies are covering their ears and a lengthy announcement with our weekly "motivational, character building" statement becomes the fuel for fodder.

Honestly, I don't always listen. Really, can you believe it...me... not listen, go figure! But for some odd reason I listened...for real.

Now at my previous school forever known here as The Hell Hole my principal butchered the English language daily. It became my team goal to count how many time she screwed up the language, but I digress. The gremlin proceeds to say, not once, not twice people but FOUR TIMES says...I kid you not...human-b-ins. In case you didn't get that it was supposed to be human beings. Now I'm in the south and yes we do have some odd colloquialisms but for craps sake even I don't go there! Human-B-Ins!!!

Now normally I wouldn't give a rat's ass how she says it, but give me a damn break YOU ARE ON THE ANNOUNCEMENTS SUPPOSEDLY THE MODEL FOR OUR STUDENTS!!! She actually counted off on another teacher's walk-through because she misspoke and didn't correct herself. She actually put a letter into another teacher's file because of her grammar.

So...I guess the moral of this story is NEVER screw up the English language in your class room, but by ALL MEANS jack it up on the morning announcements.

I hate morning announcements!!!

Well hate might be a strong word, but truly I do. I especially hate them when the announcer is our gremlin of an assistant principal. I have a friend who works in another district who never has morning announcements. They have afternoon announcements. Everyone packs up at the same time and prepares for the daily message. LOVE IT! But where I am...let's just say I'm not a fan and here's why.



My class sits quietly in the morning before coming to my room (lucky me no morning duty) and they usually stay quiet while unpacking for the day. They come in quietly (yes they are trained) and begin their daily business. I think this is an ideal set up because what kid is going to remember what they were told to remember at 8:00 by 3:00? I forget half the time. **Side note**On top of this if something important is announced at 8: 00 chances are there will be another interruption - wait announcement - at 2:45 repeating the same dang thing from the morning. Back to the story...Then after about 20 minutes of nice, quiet working comes announcements. Now if the Chief gives announcements we get the lovely bong, bong, bong a la Ridell High and then a nice Good Morning, then announcements. When the gremlin gives them watch out.



Gremlin: GOOD MORNING STUDENTS AND FACULTY!!!! (Yelling at full volume)

Me: Holy Crap! - Yep I said it in front of my class after having it

Gremlin: ARE YOU READY TO HAVE A GREAT DAY!!! LET'S DANCE!!!

Me: (to myself) WTF I have barely started my coffee and she wants me to dance?

Gremlin: LETS ALL DO THE CUPID SHUFFLE!!

Kids: (groaning) get up and kinda do it.

Gremlin: DID EVERYBODY DANCE?!! DID YOU GET YOUR BLOOD PUMPING?!! NOW FOR OUR ANNOUNCEMENTS

Gremlin then proceeds with pledges, school motto, lunch menu (which will be announced again later because what's on the calendar is not what they are actually serving - but that's another story)all of which she is yelling!

Kids: Why is she yelling?

Me: I don't know, let's all cup our ears so we don't go deaf.



14 minutes later...THANKS AND HAVE A FAAAANNNNNTAAAASTIC DAY!

2 minutes later...PARDON THIS INTERRUPTION...BUT THE LUNCH MENU HAS CHANGED TODAY WE WILL HAVE ...(INSERT SOMETHING INEDIBLE HERE) THANK YOU!!!



2 minutes later....PARDON THIS INTERRUPTION..



You get the drift, AND this goes on for another 30 minutes. So as I start teaching because we are supposed to start teaching within 20 minutes of the students entering is constantly interrupted by these "interruptions". So I sound like I have some type of speech disorder start, stop, start, stop, start, stop...amid much eye rolling.



Flash forward to lunch time.



We're walking down the hall to lunch and the Gremlin walks past. Now I have this real smart ass we'll call B who usually gets on my last dang nerve, but today I thought I would DIE!

B: Mrs. Gremlin why do you yell on the announcements?

Gremlin: I don't yell, I'm just happy to be here!

B: You yell.

Gremlin: I don't think so!

B: You yell. We hold our ears so we don't go deaf.

Me: HOLY CRAP - to self

B: If you're going to talk so loud in the morning could you turn the volume on the intercom down a bit? Thank you so much! (smiling)

Gremlin: speechless....then to me...am I really that loud?

Me: Well the kids think so. (Please God do not let me start laughing now.)

Gremlin: Oh well. They just need to deal with it!

Me: dumbfounded and speechless - Keep walking kids, we need to get to lunch.

and Found!

If I'm wrong I'll apologize...so I apologize to my little one for assuming she took my jump drives. After a few days of agonizing where in the world my jump drives had wandered off to, I went to school and searched my classroom. Yes, I'm one of those lucky ones who is actually trusted with keys to the school. Now, I'm normally EXTREMELY...did ya get that? EXTREMELY organized. I found said drives behind books on a bookshelf. How they got there, I have no idea. But none the less they are now backed up on our home hard drive and a CD. Whew! Relief!!

Lost...

Now, I'm usually an extremely organized person, but I have lost my jump drives. I have two of them. One of them has all my lessons on them and the other has all the rest of my junk from 11 years of teaching! AAAHHH!!! I know they'll turn up somewhere, but not soon enough for my taste. I'm sure my darling little one who loves necklaces picked it up. Back to looking.

BroomRider

Introducing...Broom Rider

Well, my friends have been telling me for a while that I needed to do this. Frankly I keep telling myself that I don't have the time being a teacher, a mom to three kids, a graduate student, a wife and general overworked, underpaid educator...but who isn't? I have been teaching for twelve years in the primary grades teaching everything from Kindergarten (never again) to fourth grade. I loop with my class so I keep them for two years. This is great in some ways and horrific in others as you will see in my blog. Visit often to check out what's new. I'll try to post weekly, but no promises there. Enjoy!